Thursday, September 02, 2010

Theres a fine line between being constructive and being critical- Just sayin'.

So here is another popular topic! Since I probably won't be doing anything exciting until my NYC trip, maybe I could just rip up more controversial topics har har har. So on youtube one of the things I notice most commonly is what I *hope* is simply misunderstanding between "beauty gurus" (I use this term lightly...I just think its weird IDK) and their subscribers. Lots of harsh, brash words are exchanged throughout the comments section of videos. Basically, at the end of it they both think each others a bitch LOL.

Most of this results from comments that the viewers (and Im going to assume they're just trying to be constructive) say to the youtuber, which sparks the harsh confrontation. I can think of some about myself that are common: my hair flip (sorry its not going away deal with it haha) the rate at which I speak, and most recently, the auto-play of music on my blog LOL.

Who posted the comments (2 people for you nosier folks) is irrelevant but basically it was just said that auto play music is annoying buahaha. I'm not upset or trying to call people out which is why I deleted the comments before posting this: you know if I was i'm the type to do it explicitly, but it was a good opportunity to start on this post which I've been meaning to do for awhile

So coming from my (a youtuber's) perspective:
This is what itches my butt about it: youtube is a service, not only that Youtube is a FREE service. In the case of my blog: its MY blog. Its going to reflect me, and in all honesty id rather make videos because blogspot is a pain in the butt BUT I maintain my blog for two reasons: 1. because I want my viewers to see that i'm not a dim-witted air headed biatch and I can talk about things completely unrelated to makeup/beauty. And two, I can have product information on here that would be difficult to do a video on (like that Shiseido pureness post). That post took me almost 2-3 hours (okay I was watching TV too >.<) to complete, it takes two seconds to turn off the music on someone's blog. It kind of felt like a slap in the face after all that work I put in to it. I really get a LOOTT of questions about the pureness line, and I thought I was going out of my way talking about something I didnt even use anymore (had to go back find prices, names etc) and you cant just turn the music off my blog x.X? I, for one, clearly like the music on my blog :) harhar Its one of the only redeeming qualities to me about blogspot honestly (which btw is annoying as FACK to upload to) I cant include music in my videos due to copyright issues; so that is why I insist on my music here. Even in my myspace and xanga days, I always had music on my page.

I can't stand plenty of peoples music on their blogspots LOL but its their blogspot, so if i want the info on the page they have to offer, turning off some music isn't a huge inconvenience I think. Thats how I feel about everyone's mannerisms, music etc. If I want the information they have to offer, Ill watch their videos, listen to their music, ignore their "ummmss" ...and suck it up. Because im getting that information and entertainment for free, and if its too much to handle, theres always that [x] box at the top of the right hand of any window (it works, and its satisfying, you leave that page darn it! Go you LOL).

Now on the side of the viewer:
Now this kinda deals with the "hater" post but its a little bit different! I know not everyone that posts is trying to attack you, a lot of times they REALLY think their suggestions would improve the quality of your product (be it your videos, blog etc) or they're just trying to make what they think to be a harmless observation [common ones are: you look tired, you look different, your skin looks bad, your eye looks weird etc]. but just because were on youtube, doesn't mean we don't have feelings and don't get insecure, and in the midst of mass replying to comments a lot gets lost in translation. And I know sometimes youtubers are too hasty, youtube as I mentioned has been a huge learning experience for me. I try really hard now to calm down when I see a comment that makes me mad, and try to see it from their perspective and REALLY decide if people we're trying to be insulting or not. Because sometimes, people are really just trying to help. But other times... people are just trying to be an ass (come on! you've SEEN some of the awful things people say right?) but just like how I think people on youtube (including myself!) can be too hasty, I do think sometimes comments could be worded better.

"No offense" first off, is always insulting. No offense you look_____ NEVER softens the blow. So don't say it, because obviously it's offensive.

If you think someone looks better another way, you can say "I really like how you look with straight hair :)" not "your hair looks ugly like this"

If you think someone looks tired, you can say "you look like you haven't been sleeping well, are you okay? :[" which makes it clear that you're NOT attacking them and are making a harmless observation. Some people may consider this ass-kissing. But please keep in mind you probably don't know the people you watch/read, so unless you comment often they don't know and generally don't assume that you're honestly concerned, trying to be helpful or curious. We get attacked ALL the time and the pressure to look good and be perfect is CONSTANTLY on us. It definitely comes with the territory, but we get insecure just like anyone else. We're human, we get zits, we get eye bags, we ramble, we're not perfect.

Im not innocent of having never lashed out unnecessarily, but I have been trying to get better. I've definitely mis-interpreted a few comments in my time, and felt pretty bad when I realized I shocked the innocent person commenting (to you guys, sorry if I didn't say it :[ I do try and apologize when Im in the wrong and generally make amends with people, there shouldn't be any recents though.)
So basically my whole point is, I think we should remember why everyone goes on to youtube in the first place-for the love of beauty. I think its just kinda disheartening to see how negative a place youtube has become. Every youtuber was at one point a viewer too, so we've been in those shoes. But I honestly think both youtubers and viewers alike are at fault. Youtubers should not so quickly think we are being attacked, grow some tougher skin and not dwell on it but people who choose to watch our videos should also put our feelings in to consideration.

"But she'd/you/they'd be nothing without us" And I agree, youtubers are just people (just like celebrities are just people) and are nothing without our viewers, but asking someone to change who they are because you (your one person) doesn't enjoy it, honestly doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. I'm not saying never offer a friendly suggestion, but just keep in mind theres a fine line between being constructive and being critical. And as a favor to me and others, try to word it in a way that there will be no misinterpretation. Even if I were to change said habits that few (read:the minority) of people find annoying, there are much more people that have an odd fascination with the way I flip my hair, hate slow talkers and who routinely download all the songs they hear on here. My point is, I can't win 'em all, so I don't even bother trying. I've said this many times before, theres just no making everyone happy so its much better to be yourself. If someone really bothers me, I don't watch their videos. Thats it. No drama, no confrontation and I can find other people I like just fine. [If you don't like the way someone is and you continue watching their videos and are upset by it, whose the dumb dumb? No ones forcing you to watch.] And if I should be in the unfortunate situation that no one else has the information I want and then force myself to watch said videos- I suck it up, clench my teeth, and imagine how pleasant it'd be to gauge out my eyeballs to the sound of their voice, excessive "umms" and continue watching.

PS. However I do understand that not everyone likes rnb and apologize for placing my media player on default volume and so far down my page. I have now lowered the default volume (which I just found out you can do btw :D ) and moved my media player to the top right of the page so that the "off" switch is now more conveniently located LOL. Enjoy.

Love, Jackie :)

Feel free to discuss, agree...disagree... I just wanted to get that out there and I encourage everyone (myself included) to suck it up
okay? okay! ^________^ V

"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not."


YUJLIA said...

jackie! (love your posts and videos btw) I get it right? I mean aren't we all taught at a young age to practice manners and have compassion? I understand where you're coming from, I watch videos and if i dont like them I either skip to a different video or don't leave a comment, I mean, yeah, well said though . lol

SecretxChord said...

No offense, but I <3 you more now!! =]

I agree with pretty much all that you've said. People do need constructive criticism to improve, but, we only want to hear it from certain people like family, friends or people we look up to, not strangers. So, as a viewer, I try to keep what I say easy to understand and positive, otherwise I don't say it at all.

Aside from that issue, I would like to say that you are one of my favorite gurus on Youtube because of how real you are. You don't put up a front to please people, and when an issue comes up, you approach it in a mature and level headed way. I really do hope that you stay in the world of Youtube and Blogspot for a long time, otherwise I'd have to go on my knees and shake my fists to the sky screaming "WHY?!?!?!?" for a good 10 minutes. =D

Wendy said...


You have always been my favorite youtuber. From the moment that I saw your first video, I knew that you were going to be my favorite. I love your honesty and how straightforward you can be sometimes. I feel like I can really relate to you. I also enjoy watching you on blogtv, you're always answering questions and I love how I actually get my questions answered. I really do look up to you :) You show me that everyone can be strong and independent. I like how you're happy being single and it really surprised me when I found out that you were single because honestly you're just too pretty to be single. (I hope that didn't come off offensive, I meant that the best way possible). I really do admire you. I know that you're just a make up guru on Youtube but to me, you are so much more.

I'm going through a really tough time in my life right now and could really use some advice, it's not related to make up or anything but I just get the feeling that you could probably help me out.

Thanks Jackie for everything you have done for me and everyone who watches you on youtube.

Wendy (xbbyb0o)

kthxbye said...

I understand why you would write this blog on how you hate the hate talk. :P

Why the hate?
It really is unnecessary how people go around bashing on others, when they themselves aren't perfect. If they're perfect, then they can go around saying what they want. But the problem is, if they are perfect, then they wouldn't be saying mean things in the first place :P (take that!)

Anyways, spread the love, we all deserve it :)

mszjackiechu said...

Yujlia- yeah, I seriously cant understand why anyone would sit there and watch something that makes them mad...I'd rather watch someone i like LOL

Secret- Aww :) thank you that was seriously really sweet >.< haha And for sure while im in college i'll be doing this on the side, its really fun. And ive met a lot of amazing people in my year on the net

Wendy- Check your YT inbox ^_^<3

kthxbye- Yea I dont understand haters either. Haha they claim that behind their anonymous sn theyre such hot shiet but..until i see it I dont believe it LOL
and since they know theyre whack (hence having to hide behind a sn) I guess we'll all never know =p

Amy said...

In general, I think human beings can be quite harsh but can be very generous too. It's the nature of being a human being that we criticise, mock, yell, smile, hate, love, misinterpret, prefer routine or want to change things/someone.

I think ambiguity is a common issue with communication, especially via cyberspace.

Phoung said...

LOL i think people were just mad about the music because they didn't know you could pause it... because I didn't until you moved it to the right! i used to just mute my laptop before coming here but THANK YOU for moving it! because not everyone is always in a place where sudden music from someone's computer would be OK (library) or have headphones, etc!

and I agree about the manners. manners are what separate the haters and the people that are just trying to helpfully suggest something.

i feel so bad for youtube personalities since they receive such harsh criticism when a lot of the time is unnecessary!

i don't know if you've heard but there has been a lot of drama with the bigger gurus so maybe people are just weary and judgmental of ALL gurus now since they've been scorned in the past? I don't know.. but that one hater you had was CRAZY. lol how did she know what school you went to!? or did she just assume? haha she was just... too much!

oh and about the hair flip - you know its weird because when I first showed my friend your videos, she was like, "this girl is coming off a little conceited" and i was like, "What!?" lol and she said one of the things was your hair flip! I was like, "uhh!?" lol it was just ridiculous. i made her watch more of your videos and she ended up liking you overall but I guess I can see why a simple "hair flip" would annoy them..? but its so insignificant, you know? but some people just get turned off easily I guess =\

anyways, thank you for taking the time out of your day to write blog posts/make videos! =) we appreciate it~

s said...

There's a saying, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all" (well, I would change the latter part to SHUT YOUR FREAKING PIEHOLE :P ). I wish people would abide by that. I seriously doubt that anyone is really trying to be "helpful" or constructive by pointing out negative stuff.. what I really think is that they're watching a pretty, intelligent, and articulate girl who is popular on youtube and they want to bring her down a notch to make themselves feel a bit less insecure.

Love your videos, keep 'em coming!

weendybaby said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mszjackiechu said...

@ phoung LOl see..perfect example of a misunderstanding! ^____^
but im glad that you agree dwelling on a hair flip is quite petty haha

@s well I know some of them are just as you say-trying to tear people down. Im not even addressing them because regardless of what i say they're still going to be angry rotten people so they're just kinda hopeless LOL

Caroline said...

Heey Jackie! I really enjoyed this blog post, and I truly do agree with you. Theres a fine line between criticizing someone or just simply wanting to help them out. At some point some of their advice can be hurtful, but its always best to look at it in another point of view and see if they're really just looking out for you. Something that I know I shouldnt let get to me yet it somehow does is when, good or bad feedback, is always assumed as bad to the person its directed to and they always take it the wrong way. I dont know if its a matter of insecurity but when it comes to something like this, for insistance, "Wow, your hair looks really great! Did you do anything to it?" and when the person replies, "Umm, no. Its always the same like my other videos.", its just like, you really cant turn it around and make something good of that compliment and thank them instead? Instead of having to point something out to make them feel, well, stupid? I dont know, maybe thats just me, but I do believe in these types of situations theres always a misunderstanding at one point and the best thing to do is to just think about what you want to say in the best way possible without coming off like a... mean person, while still getting your point across. I think someone who portays this beautifully is RAEview :) And you too! But once again Im glad to see a guru's perspective on this situation and I really adore all your blog posts <3 Have a good one Jackie!

Lady Dragooness said...

Hi, I recently got introduced to you through Jenny/frmheadtotoe and already I can tell that I like the way you handle things and how your thought process works. You're doing a great job and I hope to see more stuff from you in the future! ^_^


mszjackiechu said...

Carollinneee haha <3 but i completely agree, people shouldnt be so quick to think theyre being attacked as well. But sometimes, people just jump to conclusions. Like they think people are implying that they look BAD in their other videos or that their hair looked bad before. I know its not implied at all, but theres just so much negativity o_O they just become defensive all the time i think

I know it doesnt make any sense x.X haha but even I too sometimes honestly dread checking my comments and im kinda surprised when I dont see something insulting. But yes, comes with the territory i guess

btw the gloss is so pretty :)<333 i think of you everytime I see it =] thanks again

@ladydragooness aww thank you :) Jen and I just met actually haha but ive been a long-time follower of her vids ^_^ I really like her as well

ema.sunde said...

Let's be serious.
Did you ever think about being a model? 'Cuz, you have great body, pretty face and amazing hair. I really love youre videos. -> You have a lot of makeup :)
I think that women in Asia, Japan and China are the prettiest women in world.



P.S I'm from Croatia, so I speak English horiblle >.<
Sorry xD

mszjackiechu said...

Aww thank you and no your english is wonderful :)! But I could never be a model, haha<3 ! Im very short, about 157 cm, and I don't have a very nice body or anything and I don't photograph well.

But thank you for the compliments =] they were very sweet

itwillallworkout said...

HI Jackie! I'm not sure why, but if people are complaining about your music it could be because when you go to click on one of your pictures, it opens in the same browser so when you go back to keep reading it restarts the entire song. Hope that helps!

xDLeslie said...

Love this post! Barely anyone watches my videos, but I still get some wack comments (haha who says wack anymore?!). I always try to handle it gracefully and with class. Unfortunately, some people just do not understand. I think what is worse is when you put a comment in someone else's video and another viewer bashes you for your opinion, even if you think it's a positive one.

Rachel said...

I love how you actually talk about interesting topics on your blog! and yes it's stupid how some people get all worked up over people on youtube when they can very easily just not watch it :S

I love your videos! you're becoming one of favourite youtube gurus :) don't let stupid haters bring you down :)

Selena said...

Anyone who has a lot of friends is going to gain a few enemies as well, for whatever reason. Considering you have over 20 THOUsand subscribers (including me, and I'm only subscribed to 8 channels heehee), you're bound to have a few douchey viewers. Although they say things that can really hurt and offend you, always remember that they are a tiny proportion to the THOUsands who view you with awe and respect.

I've already mentioned this to you before in a comment, but I actually like the rate at which you speak. One of the things I like best is that you get straight to the point and you don't lala around.

What also amazed me was that you actually REPLIED to that comment when I told you the above. Not many "gurus" do that, and I see you replying to people all the time. I think that the fact that you respond to your audience as much as you do, is amazing.

Keep doing what you do, the way you're doing it. ...Unless you want to change it, but only because YOU want to =)